Tattooing my skull has been quite the experience....
Id like to ask you what come to mind when you hear the word “Beautiful?”
Is it the body image which celebrity’s and tabloids portray ?
Is it the feeling you get when you see a brightly colored blossoming flower in nature ? Or the flower itself?
Is it happiness so immense that this is the word you use to describe it ?
Each of us has our own defined concept of what “beauty“ means .
I have always struggled with body image and feeling beautiful. The struggle lessens the older I get and also with the more comfortable I become in my own skin.
All you need to be beautiful is yourself.
Beauty is everywhere. The world around us, art, shared laughs. Beauty, however, is not only defined by aesthetic.
Beautiful can be a feeling. Beautiful can be a sound. Beautiful can be an ultimate knowing.
The free spirit knows that beauty comes from within. It doesn’t have to hold definition. Like water in a vase , beauty spills over when overfilled and will surely spread of the glass vase were to break losing its form.
This is why beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. The most beautiful people on the planet are noble, kind & loving souls.
People have the tendency to define ourselves and our peers by what we do for a living or for our hobbies or things they like about us. These definitions of us are not the only things which define us.
I did not want to just be “Amanda the yoga teacher “ or Amanda who works the desk for her father’s construction company.“ Even though those were both great pieces of myself to aspire to be and associate with, I wanted people to see the quality of my heart and love me for that. For the characteristics which define me to my core. Not what I wear or who my friends are or what I do with my free time.
My mother says, “Do not impress people with money or with things for you do not have to do that. Impress them with your ability to be kind, humble.... “
I did not just want to be know as “Amanda with the curly hair.”
I reached a point in life while I was still young where I decided that I needed to be happy with myself in public with no makeup on. I knew that it was bad to have the constant need for harsh chemicals and makeup and that I wanted to have more self esteem than that.
I had decided when I was 12 that I wanted to shave my head and tattoo my skull.
My brother and I went to the tattoo shop with our mother so that she could cover up her ex-husbands name . The artist who did her cover up had “Property of Vicki“ tattooed on his skull. He said this way if him and his wife ever get divorced then he can just grow his hair out . At 12, I thought, “Genius!”
This was all strangely in 2007 when Brittney Spears shaved her head. Everyone has considered her batshit crazy since then.
I knew that my parents would flip so I started with just shaving the sides of my head for my 24th birthday . This way it was a gradual change and not so sudden for my family to adjust to.
When I first shaved my head bald it felt so freeing !
I immediately when from Fresco Fades to the Tattoo Shop for my appointment.
As we entered the shop, Tools new album “Fear Inoculum”was playing for the first time. It had just been released. The date was August 30, 2019; less than one week after my 24th birthday .
On the first session, my tattoo artist finished the black ink on my back.
He started with the heart chakra which was an interesting choice.
I had been wanting the 7 chakras tattooed on my body for years. I almost did not get the crown and third eye chakras tattooed on my skull. As my mother says, almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.
My tattoo artist may have been more excited to tattoo my skull than I was to receive the tattoos.
I finally went back in January for the skull tats. He did the black and white and color on my skull in the second session.
At first I was terrified! My eye was twitching as if nerves were being drilled on the top of my head.
Once I got used to the feeling... it became one of the coolest feelings I have ever experience. He did a great job.
I went back for a 3rd session 2 weeks later to fill in the color of the 5 chakras on my spine. This time I ingested LSD before entering the tattoo shop.
I began crying proclaiming my love for God & for Jesus.
My artist and I began talking about how my mom and his mother-in-law are both Jehovah Witnesses and how they did not agree with out choices pertaining to spirituality or how we carry ourselves.
The spiritual transformation which occurred throughout this process is much more than one can express in words .
While getting my throat chakra tattooed my mind turned to Jesus & how he died and experienced great suffering for our sins . I also had the urge to sing about it.
When I left the tattoo shop to go show my mom she was quite saddened by my decision. She was not the only one who felt this way.
If 25 is my prime, I am proud that I spent my prime with short short hair as to show off my other features.
There have been days where I felt ugly. Where I regretted it for just a moment. When I felt like my fiancé didn’t want to have sex with me because of my short hair.
In the end I learned that I do not need hair to be “beautiful.”
Do what you want. When you want to do it. In the end, only you, will be filled with regret if you do not.
I reached a point in life while I was still young where I decided